Humorous payroll quotes

Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." —Thomas Eddison. 2. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." —Donald Trump. 3.

Humorous payroll quotes. Funny, Air, Lenses. 102 Copy quote. I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. Ronald Reagan. Funny, Sarcastic, Running. 439 Copy quote. You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement. Tariq Ramadan.

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Introduction. Payroll – it’s the engine that keeps an organization running smoothly, but it can also be a source of endless humor. In this article, we’re bringing you a selection of witty and entertaining payroll jokes. Whether you’re a payroll pro or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these jokes will tickle your funny bone.funny payroll mug, gift for payroll assistant, cheerful sarcasm, best boss, best worker, best payroll, work in payroll, i'm always right, (10) $20.95. As Far As I'm,. Braided Leather Bracelet, Payroll Clerk Engraved Bracelet, Sarcastic Gifts For Payroll Clerk From Team Leader, Funny. (1) $23.95. FREE shipping.Aug 17, 2016 - Explore Emma Jackson's board "Payroll jokes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about jokes, work humor, bones funny.Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". Michael Scott, The Office. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe.". Albert Einstein. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.". Cathy Guisewite.Unknown. "Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.". UNKNOWN. "The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.". HENNY YOUNGMAN. "Love is being stupid together.". PAUL VALÉRY. "Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.". PAULINE THOMASON.Mar 22, 2020 ... Payroll Clerk Freaking Awesome Funny Gift for Coworker Job Prank Gag Idea, this hilarious quote saying design makes the best present idea ...High quality Funny Payroll Quotes inspired Spiral Notebooks by independent artists and designers from around the world. Your secrets and dreams written in ink, or drawn in pencil, and hidden behind your favorite art. Notebooks on Redbubble are so very versatile and lucky for you they're available in a ruled or graph 90gsm paper. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours.Famous leadership quotes offer inspiration and motivation. Many people print out famous quotes to live by and have them on-hand at home, work and in the car. Here are 10 famous quo...

The man below says, “Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, about thirty feet above this field.”. “You must be an accountant,” says the balloonist. “Yes I am” replies the man. “And how did you know that”. “Well” says the balloonist, “what you tell me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone.”.Payroll Swear Words PRINTABLE Office Decor, Funny Payroll Manager Gift, Coworker Present, Pet Peeves Quotes Poster Sign, INSTANT Download (247) $ 5.17 ... Funny Payroll Specialist Coffee Mugs Gag Gifts Fun Novelty Unicorn Cups Account Manager Mugs Payroll Clerk Coffee Cups Mugs With Sayings 832 (12.9k)50 Funny And Uplifting Quotes For Your Inner Holiday Cheermeister. By Derek Marshall Updated October 17, 2018. Elf. 1. “Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.”. – Janice Maeditere. 2. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”. – Johnny Carson.Humor has long been recognized as a powerful force that brings people together and helps us navigate through life’s challenges. Whether it’s a witty remark from a friend or a funny...Check out our funny payroll sign selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our printing & printmaking shops. Etsy. Search for items or shops ... Custom Hr tShirt, Payroll Employee Coworker Gifts, Payroll Quotes (94) Sale Price $18.69 $ 18.69 $ 21.99 Original Price $21.99 (15% off)Nov 29, 2020 - 4.9 out of 5 stars - Shop Funny Payroll Manager Motivational Quote Gift Mug created by officecelebrity. Personalize it with photos & text or purchase as is!Humor Quotes. Quotes tagged as "humor" Showing 1-30 of 42,334. "So many books, so little time.". ― Frank Zappa. tags: books , humor. 146314 likes. Like. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.". ― Albert Einstein. Payroll – it’s the engine that keeps an organization running smoothly, but it can also be a source of endless humor. In this article, we’re bringing you a selection of witty and entertaining payroll jokes. Whether you’re a payroll pro or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these jokes will tickle your funny bone.

1. Positive people have negative thoughts, too. They just don't allow those thoughts to grow too big. And they make sure to stop them from following them around around all day. - Karen Salmansohn.Funny Money Quotes. 1. "Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it.". - William Somerset Maugham. 2. "Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.". - Helen Gurley Brown. 3.Humorous Payroll Quotes & Sayings. Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humorous Payroll quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes. Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. — Kate Bartolotta. There are many evils in this country. The only remedy for every one of them is freedom for the nation.Humor, on the other hand, is broad, soothing, positive, inclusive, and smutty - to make sure everybody gets it. Pretending to be humorous is easy, and a great many people are doing it. Florence King. I don't think women's prisons are environments for dance routines, and I don't think mass murder is humorous.Laugh out loud with these funny payroll jokes and memes. Share them with your colleagues and lighten up the office atmosphere.

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Charles Lamb. "New Year's Day is every man's birthday." Judith Christ. "Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that." Anonymous. "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits."24. "Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.". — Earl Nightingale. 25. "Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have ...50 Painfully Hilarious Memes From “Just A Typical HR Person”. Rokas Laurinavičius and. Ieva Pečiulytė. 95. 23. ADVERTISEMENT. Human resources (HR) is an important part of an organization, as it deals with the management of people and their relationships within (and with) the company. HR hires employees, manages their benefits and ...Shop high-quality unique Funny Payroll Quotes T-Shirts designed and sold by independent artists. Available in a range of colours and styles for men, women, and everyone.7. Goodbye and good luck! We are surely going to miss our attempts to avoid you at the coffee machine. 8. I hope your new job is as amazing as you think it is… or at least pays you enough to buy us all drinks! 9. Funny farewell card for a coworker.15 Funny HR quotes (from actors, authors, presidents & more) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.". - Drew Carey, American Actor. "There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.". - Peter Drucker, Austrian ...

Here are some funny quotes they might use. 4. "Everybody can’t talk at the funeral!" — Shuler King. Shuler King’s family has owned a funeral home since 1945. Naturally, he became a licensed funeral director and embalmer to help their business thrive. He’s also a successful comedian who jokes about his day job.Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”. – Helen Keller. “ You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. – Zig Ziglar. “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”. – Mark Twain. “ The world of the future is in our making. Tomorrow is now.”.So, next time you need a good chuckle, sit back, relax, and enjoy these funny movie quotes. 1. "You sit on a throne of lies." Elf, 2003. 2. "It's just a flesh wound." Monty Python and the Holy ...If Mondays were shoes, they'd be Crocs. Read more. 18. If you fall, I will be there. - Floor. Read More. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. 19. The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.Birthdays are typically a time of joy, which makes funny birthday messages pretty much a no-brainer. Sure, you could go for something sentimental, but whether you're looking for the right words to personalize a DIY birthday card, make a great toast, or just put together the perfect social media post in honor of the occasion, short birthday wishes that bring on the grins and giggles are always ...June futures on the S&P/TSX index were up 0.2% at 7:14 a.m. ET (11:14 GMT). The benchmark index ended higher on Thursday but was set to log a weekly loss. …They learn to act their wage. 31. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had six months to live. “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?” “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor. “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?” “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”. 32.10 Payroll Jokes That Make Every Payroll Professional Laugh. Zack Jaffe 09.06.22. Who doesn't love a good pun? As an Associate Product Manager at Namely, I love creating payroll jokes and sharing them with the rest of my organization. To add some laughter to your day, here are 10 of them:Birthdays are a time for celebration, laughter, and joy. Birthdays can sometimes be bittersweet reminders of getting older, but injecting some humor into the festivities can turn a...405 Copy quote. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong. Charles Wadsworth. Funny, Father, Humorous. 184 Copy quote. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov. Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter. 369 Copy quote.

My wife says: May I have the envelope please.". — Henny Youngman. "Payday came and with it beer.". — Rudyard Kipling. "Everywhere I go, I will make a good payday. But we got to choose the right opponent and the right time and the right venue.". — Floyd Mayweather, Jr. "Show me a bad script, and I will show you a big payday.".

Sep 30, 2010 ... Confucius say: Man who drown cat pay for wet pussy. UpvoteFeb 10, 2024 · Packed with the everyday payroll words, phrases and terms that will really irritate any Payroll professional, this legendary design makes a witty and eye-catching addition to any wall or desk at home or work. The most annoying Payroll office decor on the internet? We think so!-----☺ This item is a DIGITAL FILE DOWNLOAD ONLY. Famous leadership quotes offer inspiration and motivation. Many people print out famous quotes to live by and have them on-hand at home, work and in the car. Here are 10 famous quo...Check out our payroll quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our templates shops.High quality Human Resources Funny Quote Payroll inspired Art Prints by independent artists and designers from around the world. Break out your top hats and monocles; it's about to classy in here. Printed on 100% cotton watercolour textured paper, Art Prints would be at home in any gallery. But your walls are better. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours.1. Keep it short and sweet. The best payroll slogans are short and to the point. They're easy to remember and easy to say. And they pack a punch. 2. Make it relevant. Your slogan should be relevant to your payroll business and what you do. It should capture the essence of what you do and what you're all about.By wonderful22. $25.30. Funny Payroll Clerk Gaming Vintage - video games lovers Poster. By Sid Ahmed Tobba. $27.22. Eat Sleep Payroll Repeat Payroll Clerk Gift Poster. By Luna1Shop. $25.13. Keep Calm Payroll Will Solve It Poster.Here are some funny Friday quotes that will put you in the right mood for the weekend. “No weekend, all weakened.“ ~Toba Beta. “Friday’s a free day. A woman’s day.“ ~Neil Gaiman. Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard. Dear Friday,

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Funny quotes about life. "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.". "Life is like a roller coaster—full of ups and downs, and it's over way too fast.". "I'm on the seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.". "Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out ...Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”. Michael Scott, The Office. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.”. Albert Einstein. “When life gives you lemons, …Funny Quotes. Job Humor. Work Humor [Image - 271640] | What People Think I Do / What I Really Do. kduby HUMAN RESOURCES You're Fired! CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES YOUR BOSS SAYS YOU REFUSE TO DO YOUR JOB. ... Payroll Humor. Payroll. Mom Humor. Baybie V. Funny Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday Meme. Birthday Wishes For Nephew. Happy ...HR: Providing the perfect blend of rules and chaos since forever. HR: Where ‘we’re all in this together’ means ‘you’re on your own’. HR: Where ‘performance review’ is …4. We were going to do something funny for your work anniversary, but there’s nothing funny about working here another year. 5. Your dedication to your job is something we can only aspire to – aspire not to replicate, that is. 6. Happy anniversary from someone you’re probably shocked knew it was your anniversary.Oct 14, 2016 - Explore 🐺🐾TERESA🐾🐶's board "Payroll stuff" on Pinterest. See more ideas about work humor, hr humor, accounting humor.The man below says, “Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, about thirty feet above this field.”. “You must be an accountant,” says the balloonist. “Yes I am” replies the man. “And how did you know that”. “Well” says the balloonist, “what you tell me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone.”.You can boost morale in the workplace by sharing a message about the upcoming weekend. Here are some funny work quotes to consider: "Friday makes Monday worth it." — Andy Atticus. "Music always sounds better on Friday." — Lou Brutus. "Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek.Here are 10 human resources quotes to help you and your HR team stay inspired and to think more retrospectively. Platform. Payroll. Worker Data & Documents. Hiring. Time & Attendance. ... Simple and accurate payroll. Pay your U.S.-based employees on time, every time, with Eddy. Learn more. 877-750-3339. 282 W River Bend Ln, Provo, UT, 84604 ...100 Funny Work Quotes That'll Make Your Daily Grind More Enjoyable. Find some humor and inspiration to get you through the workday. Maryn Liles. Apr 24, 2023. … ….

44 Funny payroll Memes ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. At MemesMonkey.com find thousands of memes categorized into thousands of categories. ... Funny Quotes About Payroll, Positive Quotes Images. positivequotesimages.com. positivequotesimages.com. helpful non helpful. 1000, ideas about Payroll Humor on …Payroll Quotes. Star Wars Funny Payroll Quotes. Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Albert Einstein Quotes. Bill Gates Quotes. Bob Marley Quotes. Funny Paycheck Quotes. Payroll Humor Quotes. Tax Humor Quotes.Here are some of our favorite funny and inspirational quotes about accounting. “Don’t ever let your business get ahead of the financial side of your business. Accounting, accounting, accounting. Know your numbers.”. – Tilman J. Fertitta. “Creativity is great-but not in accounting.”. – Charles Scott. “Destiny gave me only two ...Canva/Parade. 1. "Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows' Eve." Ray Bradbury, American Author. 2. "During ...Bud Selig. 9. Payroll savings plans are vital because they are essentially the only way that middle-class Americans reliably save for retirement. Richard Thaler. 8. Electronic Accounting Systems processed my little payrolls like one big payroll. I did the selling, and the people I hired did most of the operations.HR: Where ‘teamwork’ means everyone agrees with me. HR: Where ‘dress code’ is a suggestion, not a requirement. HR: Where ‘flexible hours’ means you can work whenever, as long as you get your work done. HR: Providing the perfect blend of rules and chaos since forever. HR: Where ‘we’re all in this together’ means ‘you’re on ...A killer on the payroll isn't good for business — L.A. Larkin. Her Majesty's Secret Service wouldn't have me on the payroll. — Colin Farrell. Ive never supported a payroll tax. — David Dewhurst. I am not a great fan of the payroll tax holiday because I'm nervous about what it does to the future of Social Security.Below we've compiled a collection of the most hilarious quotes to tickle your funny bone. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Steven Wright. 0. Copy. Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck.Check out our funny payroll quote selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our templates shops. ... Annoyingly Funny Quotes, Pet Peeves Poster, Humor (248) Sale Price $6.26 $ 6.26 $ 7.83 Original Price $7.83 (20% off) Add to Favorites Funny Payroll PRINT, Office Sign, Pay Day Quote, Funny Keep Calm Motivational ... Humorous payroll quotes, Review time is coming up, and while raises aren't expected to amaze anyone next year, it's almost always worth it to make your case for more money.Data gathered for PayScale's Salary ..., A young ranch hand receives his first paycheck. A whopping $1.50. He immediately runs to the nearest brothel and asks the head maiden what he can do with a buck fifty... She dubiously eyes him. "I don't have anything that cheap.". "Please!". He begs "it's my first time!". Taking pity she says., Make a retiring colleague laugh with these funny quotes about retirement. "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.". - Gene Perret. "Spreading sheets sounds more appealing than a spreadsheet.". - Unknown. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is ..., Humorous Quotes. “I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.”. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”. “You might want to lie down," Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”. “Men always want to be a woman ..., Sarcastic Quotes for Boss. 2. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”. 3. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.”. 4. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.”. – Cannon’s Law. 5., Shop high-quality unique Funny Payroll Quotes T-Shirts designed and sold by independent artists. Available in a range of colours and styles for men, women, and everyone. , National Payroll Week serves as a reminder that there are dedicated professionals working hard everyday to ensure we get paid accurately and on time. To help you celebrate, we've rounded up 10 fun facts about payroll. Fact 1: National Payroll Week was founded by The American Payroll Association in 1996. It is designed to celebrate the ..., Funny Payroll Specialist Unisex Short Sleeve Tee Humorous payroll specialist Shirt-Perfect Gift For PAYROLL (10) AU$ 16.27. Add to Favourites ... Coworker Present, Pet Peeves Quotes Poster Sign, INSTANT Download (190) AU$ 8.69. Add to Favourites Vocabulary At Work Mug-Rude Payroll Clerk Mug-Funny Payroll Clerk Mugs-Payroll …, A real friend or mentor isn't on your payroll. Prince. Real, Real Friends, Mentor. 112 Copy quote. Lack of resources (payroll), time and competing priorities are why so many nonprofits haven't done well. It's that simple. Seth Godin. Business, Simple, Priorities. 8 Copy quote., Funny Money Quotes. 1. "Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it.". - William Somerset Maugham. 2. "Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.". - Helen Gurley Brown. 3., Looking for a laugh? Check out these hilarious payroll quotes that will bring a smile to your face. Get ready to share some laughs with your colleagues!, 26. "Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.". - Colleen Wilcox. 27. "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.". - John Dewey. 28. "Education is the key to success in life, and teachers make a lasting impact in the lives of their students.". - Solomon Ortiz., , Below are some funny dear salary quotes you can use. Dear salary, how I wish we could spend more quality time together. Dear salary, you are the cornerstone of my happiness. Every day should be payday. Dear salary, please stay with me this month. Dear salary, I miss you so much., My wife says: May I have the envelope please.". — Henny Youngman. "Payday came and with it beer.". — Rudyard Kipling. "Everywhere I go, I will make a good payday. But we got to choose the right opponent and the right time and the right venue.". — Floyd Mayweather, Jr. "Show me a bad script, and I will show you a big payday."., Apr 22, 2021 · 1. “The hardest thing in the world is to understand the income tax.”. — Albert Einstein. 2. “Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income” — fictitious character in Mad magazine Alfred E. Neuman. 3. , Funny Quotes About Payroll, Positive Quotes Images. positivequotesimages.com. positivequotesimages.com. helpful non helpful. 1000, ideas about Payroll Humor on ..., Funny Paycheck Quotes & Sayings . Showing search results for "Funny Paycheck" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found. Related Topics. Insecurity Funny Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed People Change Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy 420 4 20 Happy 4 20 Happy 420 Day 420 Facebook Status Funny …, Payroll Princess PRINT, Payroll Office Decor, Funny Payroll Clerk Manager Gift Present, Womens Desk Decor, Home Office Sign, Humor Wall Art (247) £ 5.99 ... Payroll, Custom HR tshirt, Payroll Gifts, Human Resources t-shirt, payroll quotes, payroll gifts, payroll (168), 5 HR Memes That Will Make You LOL. In the intricate ecosystem of modern workplaces, Human Resources (HR) professionals serve as the linchpin, bridging the gap between management and employees. Often, they operate behind the scenes, shaping organizational culture, driving employee engagement, and fostering a productive work environment., Below are some funny dear salary quotes you can use. Dear salary, how I wish we could spend more quality time together. Dear salary, you are the cornerstone of my happiness. Every day should be payday. Dear salary, please stay with me this month. Dear salary, I miss you so much., eat sleep payroll repeat, payroll, payroll job, payroll officer, payroll specialist, payroll manager, hr payroll, human resource payroll, payroll analyst, payroll career, payroll administrator, payroll processor, payroll director, payroll associate, funny payroll quotes, funny work career quotes sayings for coworker colleague department boss ..., He won't expect it back.". - Oscar Wilde. "Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.". - Joan Collins. "I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on, I go into another room and read a good book.". - Groucho Marx. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn ..., Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2., If you’re a business owner, having business insurance is generally essential. However, navigating the business insurance quote process the first time around is often challenging. F..., Mar 22, 2020 ... Payroll Clerk Freaking Awesome Funny Gift for Coworker Job Prank Gag Idea, this hilarious quote saying design makes the best present idea ..., There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin. A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. Percy Ross. The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. Gilbert K. Chesterton., I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes. Barack Obama. I have 120 people in my payroll without any government giving me any money., You are a human being.". - Laura Mazzullo. This powerful, short quote serves as a reminder to HR professionals, particularly because we sometimes get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone else that we forget about ourselves. Laura recommends taking your paid time off (PTO) to rest and recharge., This just in, it's the end of the month. When you are happy that you can finally say goodbye to this month. Brace yourself, month end is coming. Deadlines are no fun, but gotta get it done! Here are motivation memes if you need that extra push. The month's end is here, enjoy the funny memes about last minute shenanigans., May 23, 2017 - Explore Katie Greene's board "Payroll" on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, work humor, payroll. , Payroll - it's the engine that keeps an organization running smoothly, but it can also be a source of endless humor. In this article, we're bringing you a selection of witty and entertaining payroll jokes. Whether you're a payroll pro or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these jokes will tickle your funny bone., They learn to act their wage. 31. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had six months to live. "Oh my God!" said the woman. "What shall I do?" "Marry an accountant," suggested the doctor. "Why?" asked the woman. "Will that make me live longer?" "No," replied the doctor. "But it will SEEM longer.". 32.